Interview #2: Rev. Paul Bearer

I met Paul last year at a very small (and awesome) Joe Coffee show in Wheeling, WV. I could easily go on for pages about how excited I was a few months ago when he graciously offered to do this. To say that Sheer Terror is my favorite band is possibly the understatement of the century. Burning Time is named after a Sheer Terror song, as are most other things in my life that I have to name. But this isn't an essay about what a nerd I am, it's an interview with Paul Bearer, and it's hard for me to act unexcited introducing it. When Sheer Terror was announced for this year's This Is Hardcore Fest, it seemed fitting to conduct the interview right after the weekend's festivities had concluded. Paul and I sat down after TIH 2010 came to a close and discussed lots of different things. Paul certainly had nothing to hide. [Editor's Note: In this instance, the phrase is meant literally, as he was in only his underwear for the interview. Such an eccentric visionary he is.] Enjoy.


Jennifer: You’re kind of idolized, basically, by a lot of people. What is that like to you?
Paul: It’s weird. It’s… I mean, it’s nice to be recognized for doing what you love to do and everything, but it’s—certain people’s reactions get a little—like “whoa, calm down!” I work in a bar, you know? I do this—I write and I sing and stuff like that because I have to, because it’s something that I decided to do a long time ago. And it’s kinda cool that—I mean, it’s nice when people—they thank you, like the songs helped them out, or something like that, or lyrics and everything. It’s flattering, but without me being selfish, I wrote all this stuff for me, to help me. Helping someone else is a bonus, it’s nice, but then they— [J: It’s not what it’s for?] Well, it’s not so much that it’s not what it’s for, but sometimes they get a little overboard with things, and will misinterpret.
J: If they misinterpret things, do you set it straight, or do you just kind of let them think whatever?
P: It depends on the situation, I guess. I don’t want to be a jerkoff to anybody. But if they’re totally going the opposite of the avenue I was taking, then I’m like, “Yeah, alright, you’re wrong.” [J laughs] I write songs about things that happen to me—and not a lot, but a good deal of it has to do with relationships and stuff like that. And then people will come with like, you know, this whole anti-women thing. And I’m like, “no!”
J: They think your lyrics are?
P: Yeah! I’ve been accused of that. Or applauded for that. The guy will be like, “Yeah, fuck women!” and I’m like, “What are you talking about? No!” When they go too far like that and misconstrue what I’m trying to say… if it’s something simple, then I’ll let it go, but if it’s something that I’m totally against, then I’m gonna tell them, “You’re wrong.” Sometimes, they’ll get offended. Well, don’t get offended by me, you’re the one that misinterpreted it. Yet, somehow, it’s my fault.

J: Do you ever feel like Sheer Terror fans—like a lot of the people who claim to be so into Sheer Terror… don’t really get it? I guess it’s kind of going back to what you were saying about misinterpreting. Do you feel like, overall, “these are my personal songs, and here are all these people with Sheer Terror tattoos, and Sheer Terror this and that, and they—”
P: Well, to an extent, yeah, but it’s flattering, though. I grew up relatively awkward, I suppose, uncomfortable, and not liking what was going on with a lot of things. And to see that something I did for me—to continue, for me to function—affect people… It’s weird. I mean, it’s cool, but it’s still, it’s like—it’s not so much that they don’t get it. A lot of times, I don’t get it. I’m like, did you really read what I wrote? [P and J laugh] I’ve got problems! I’ve got problems. It’s always extremely flattering. Like this whole weekend, just hanging out or whatever, walking around, and me and my habits of waking up ridiculously early for no reason, and walking at like 8 o’clock in the morning, I’m walking through the lobby and there’s a couple of hardcore kids—guys, whatever, walking by. I hear them and they see me, and I’ll, you know, I’ll nod and everything, and these kids are like, “Wow! Awesome!”
J: Dear Diary… [P and J laugh]
P: It’s kind of cool, you know? It’s neat. I never, never expected that. [J: Really?] No! No, no, no, no. I never expected any of that. I was just happy that I had this—I had this device for me. For me to get it out of my system and keep me going. That I could form a band, or that I could write, or I could sing, or whatever. And that was like, I was grateful enough for that. I never, ever thought that it would get to the point where like, you know, people I don’t know were so excited just ‘cause I’m there. I never expected that to happen. It’s cool, but it’s still fucking weird. [P laughs] It’s still weird.

J: I wanna talk about how things were at the beginning, when you first got into hardcore. So, how did you get into it to begin with?
P: I just got into the punk thing— [J: —When was that?] Pretty much when Sid Vicious killed his girlfriend. I just thought that was the most craziest thing I ever heard, so I went to the library and I stole the thing on cassette, Never Mind the Bollocks, I stole it—and I still have it. And I just started buying punk records and getting into it. You know, trying to sneak off into shows, whenever I could—because I was young.
J: What do you think was appealing about it that you pursued it?
P: Just ‘cause it was crazy. I liked it. It was exciting. And people hated it! And I was like, “ooh!” What do kids like in cartoons and wrestling and everything? They like the bad guys! I saw it as that. It was cool. And I just—how I progressed from punk into hardcore, things started getting faster, a little bit more raw, a little bit more real. Not so much fashion-oriented. And, I just—it just stuck with me. Forever. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried to shake it, a couple times. It don’t go away. [P laughs] …It don’t. It just doesn’t happen.

J: What were shows like then? At the very beginning, when you first started going to them?
P: They were cool, it was just like a big mish mash of everybody. Everybody, everything, every color, every creed, everything. It was like a bunch of misfits, a bunch of freaks, and nobody thought they were better than each other, or better than anybody else. We were just happy that we had a place to go and nobody looked down on you. I mean, unless you acted like an asshole or a jerkoff, then sure, it’s normal. [J: For legitimate reasons.] Exactly. It was just cool, like you went and you didn’t have to worry about what you looked like or if you had any physical… deformities, or anything. It was just like, we were all here, and we all appreciate it, listening to music and getting into something we like that speaks to us in whatever way. It wasn’t—there was no fashion show, it was no tough guy thing, or anything like that. It was sheltering, in a way. It was nice. It opened my eyes to a lot of things. Punk rock—forget it, without it, I’d probably be fucked. It really did save me. It saved my life. It opened my eyes to a lot of things, to look at things differently, introduced me to a lot of people I probably wouldn’t have ever met if I had gone the way of, you know, Joe Lunchpail. Yeah, punk rock saved my life. I owe my life to punk rock. As silly as it can be sometimes, I guess it should be, in a way. It shouldn’t be always “adamant” or whatever.

J: Were you involved with bands from the beginning, or were you kind of a spectator at first?
P: I was a spectator at first. I was in my first band when I just turned 14 years old. [J: What was that?] It was a band, older guys, I was living in Westchester at the time—I was living in Yonkers, New York, and I put a thing in some free paper, music paper, like I was looking for a band or whatever. [J: That’s pretty enterprising for a 14 year old!] I didn’t give a fuck, ‘cause I saw these bands and I was like, “I wanna do that!” So I put it out, and these older guys contacted me. They had a band called Social Security, and I think that maybe they played out like once or twice, I don’t even know. I practiced with them a couple times, and it fell apart, it just didn’t go anywhere. But then the guitarist, Josh, had this other band going that was more—Social Security was more punk rock style—had this band called Fathead Suburbia. They had a singer, George, and I wound up joining with them, being the second singer, singing like backup and everything. And that was more faster, crazier, hardcore stuff, but jazz. Because the bass player and the drummer were jazz musicians, like blue-eyed jazz guys, and they turned me onto a lot of stuff, taught me timing, stuff like that. So that was cool. So yeah, I was 14, I started going to shows when I was... I guess 13 or so. And... and then, yeah, I was like, “I want to do this.” So yeah, almost from the beginning. I mean, I--not really from the beginning, but... [J: Shortly thereafter?] Yeah, exactly, maybe like two years later.
J: And then after Fathead Suburbia was Sheer Terror?
P: Um... Then there were a couple just studio bands that never did nothing, with like a lot of the same guys, Josh and stuff—we did some stuff and practiced a lot, but never played out. And then around—like ‘82 to like ‘84, towards the end of ‘84, is when the Sheer Terror thing happened. But like with Fathead Suburbia, we played out like twice. We did like two shows and that was it.
J: Right, so Sheer Terror was kind of your first serious, big—
P: Definitely, definitely.

J: What was it like beginning with Sheer Terror? Did it kind of click right away? Or was it something that kind of took awhile to get off the ground?
P: No, it—I mean, we sucked. [P and J laugh] Everybody sucks when they start. But I liked it, it was good, and there was things there that I liked about it. The guitarists got along really well. We played a lot, early, considering. I couldn’t even tell you how many CB’s shows we played. It was ridiculous after awhile. It was cool, it was something to do, and of course you think your band’s great, even though you’re horrible. Yeah, no, it was alright, we played with some cool bands. We played with a lot of crappy bands as well. Bands that people think--that’s one thing: a lot of people think that because a band’s old that they were good. No. There were a lot of crappy bands back then. Tons! And some of these bands are even trying to make a stab at it again now, and it’s like, nobody liked you then! [P and J laugh]
J: What were bands that you really liked playing with back then?
P: Liked playing with?
J: Or seeing, either or.
P: Liked playing with? I never really thought about that.
J: What about bands in general that you liked back then?
P: The Abused from New York were really cool, I really dug them. Urban Waste, until they started getting all fucked up, they were great. Minor Threat was fucking cool. They always had an attitude, but I always liked the music. They were rich kids from fucking D.C., so whatever. They put on a great show, I saw them six times. They put on a great show, it was fun. Whatever was coming around, it was exciting to go and do something and see bands. We would just go see bands that even we didn’t really know, because it was there, and it was like, “Wow, these guys are from Germany! Who are they? I don’t know! Let’s go!” And they were good or they were bad, you found out! All it cost you was two or three bucks. Then you could always walk around and go record shopping or whatever.

J: As the years went on and Sheer Terror got bigger... Sheer Terror’s kind of credited with being “pioneers” of mixing metal and hardcore, and kind of being the first “heavier” band that—sort of—almost like inventing that whole thing that a slew of bands then point to as their influence. What do you think about that?
P: I don’t think we invented it. We might have been one of the first bands to do it, but there were other bands as well doing it. Not a lot. But we—I was never a metal fan, I was never a metal guy. I mean, I like Black Sabbath and things like that, but that’s rock ‘n’ roll, really, for me. Motorhead’s rock n roll, not metal. But I never really liked—the Celtic Frost thing, that was Blake. I don’t mind them, but I still to this day don’t own a record from them. I didn’t have to, because Blake would always be playing it in his fucking car. So I’d hear it all the time. I didn’t have to buy a record. [J and P laugh] But, we might have been the first—one of the first bands to do it, but I... inventing it? I don’t know... There were a couple of other bands maybe doing it. I can’t think of any. Like Carnivore I liked, from New York. They were cool because they were metal, but they were fucked up and crazy metal. And I liked them because it was raw. I think—I do believe that me and Pete Steele were probably the first two guys who were doing like the growling and then the singing thing. [J: Not just one or the other.] Exactly. We’d go into it. And I think me and him were two of the first guys to do that. That, I’ll say yeah, me and him. Not even H.R.—H.R., I wouldn’t consider him among that, ‘cause he just did his own weird fucking shit. [J laughs] So that I’ll take credit for. But the metal thing? We were the first—where, we would—Blake, or even Neuman then, at one point or whatever, they would take whatever metal influence they had, but they would still keep it hardcore. There would still be a punk element to it, a hardcore element to it. We didn’t just want to write a straight up metal song, which a lot of bands fucked up and did. [J: They just went all the way...] Exactly! And because they saw these metalheads coming to the shows, and they were like, “Oh! Well, we should start playing heavy metal.” No, they’re coming to the shows because they’ve never heard this shit before. They never thought like, “Oh, you guys can play metal now.” No! [J laughs] But a lot of bands were like, boom! And they just started playing straight metal and turning their backs on their fucking—roots and everything. We never did that. I couldn’t. It was never even a thought—I would have quit. [P laughs] I would have totally quit.

J: As Sheer Terror progressed, you did a lot of different things with different albums. What would you say—what is your personal favorite Sheer Terror album?
P: Old, New, Borrowed & Blue. [J: That’s my favorite, too. Goodbye, Farewell is my favorite song.] Yeah, cuz the sound--the production on that, and the songs on that were great. And the way that everything just fits perfectly. The other albums have their own things going on, but that one’s my favorite. Without a doubt. It just blends together really well, and I like the way it came out. And it’s got my ma and dad on the cover, so. That’s cool.
J: Are there any that you don’t really like?
P: The Ugly and Proud record, for many reasons. One, ‘cause we don’t see any money from it, it was never supposed to come out. The production on that’s just horrendous. I don’t like my voice on it at all. Love Songs, only because of the production. I like the songs, but the production on it’s fucking horrible because Tommy Victor was trying to—fucking experiment and do all this shit—which, why—I don’t even know why the fuck we allowed that. We got him in through being in the studio with us; I didn’t want the “Tommy Victor sound.” Because I don’t even know what the fuck that is. [J laughs] But he put—a couple of things—like, Neuman and Chickie went in at the last minute to remix it, but there were certain things that Tommy had done that we couldn’t fuck with, and they printed like boom! Like that. And then Neuman and Chickie went in there and tried to do their best remix of the thing, but it was just too much. That was a letdown. Because the production on that should have been—I wish we would have had Josh from Type O, who did Old, New, Borrowed & Blue—I wish we had him do the production. It would have been a completely different album, I think, personally.

J: As far as lyrics go... You touched on this at the very beginning when you said that a lot of times, people will say, “This song saved me,” or, “This song means so much to me.” Nine times out of ten, when people are discussing lyrics that are meaningful or like, best lyrics in hardcore, Sheer Terror’s name very often comes up. Why do you think—I don’t want to ask why you think that is, because I think that’s kind of an awkward question to ask, [P laughs] but what do you think it is about your lyrics that seem to strike a chord with people so much? That seems to be so meaningful?
P: I don’t know. Maybe because I use too many words? [J and P laugh] I can’t just write the Hatebreed-cheerleader haiku. [J: How do you write?] I just—it—whatever way it comes, sometimes I’ll come up with a pattern in my head that I’ll follow, like a rhythmic thing. Or I’ll just write whatever. I’ll write along to the song, or—I’m an idiot, because I have so much shit written that I’ve never used for anything. Then when I get a song, very rarely do I go back and reference them. Maybe every now and then I—No, I gotta start from scratch. Because I have it in my stupid head that somehow, if I go back, that’s cheating. It’s so stupid. It’s so dumb. How am I cheating? I wrote it! [J: Who are you cheating?] Exactly! I wrote it, nobody’s ever heard it, so... Yeah, I can’t force myself to write, ‘cause then it’s just crap, and I get pissed off at myself. So I just try to invite it in, like, “Hey, you wanna give it a shot?” I’ll yell at the corner, “You wanna work?” And if I feel it, then I just go for it. But I don’t know why people—what affects people. Maybe subject matter? Because I’m not just singing about me and my boys or whatever, or like breaking down a wall, building it back up, breaking down a wall, building it back up... [J laughs] So yeah, maybe the subject matter, and that I don’t really have too much of a filter. [J: Sort of raw?] Yeah, like I’m getting it out of my system, I’m not gonna mask it. That would be redundant, I might as well just keep it in.

J: They seem like—your lyrics seem very personal. Is it weird or hard for you to put that out to the public in that way? Or do you kind of distance yourself from it?
P: I don’t really distance myself from it, I just do it. I’m just like, well, this is it, this is how I feel. And... maybe for like a second I’ll think, well, people are gonna be listening to this or reading this. But—if only for a second. Then I’m like—no, it made me feel good to get it out. Or it even made me feel bad, made me feel sad... but I had to get it out. And it’s there and it’s serving its purpose. So, I mean, what’s the worst that’s gonna happen? [J: Right, people will misinterpret it maybe.] They’ll misinterpret it maybe, or... [J: Or they won’t accept it.] Exactly, and that’s fine. [P laughs]
J: Well, you said you never expected it to blow up or blossom like it did.
P: No, no, not--not whatsoever. It’s weird still to this day.

J: Do you think that you’re kind of—for lack of better term, “typecasted” as being Paul Bearer from Sheer Terror, and that kind of prevents you from every really... truly being successful with—making Joe Coffee or any other bands big, if that’s even your ambition?
P: To an extent, yes, yes. That’s one sad thing with the hardcore scene, especially: it’s very... limiting. It limits itself. Nobody’s forcing it to be that way. People just don’t like—“No, you have to be like this. We like that.” And I’m like, well, ok, that’s great, but I want to do this too. “Ok, you can do that, but whatever. It’s not for me.” Well it doesn’t have to be for you. I’m doing it for me! Like I did that for me! So yeah, it does. It does. There’s a lot of typecasting going on, people expecting certain things. And, you know, if I let ‘em down? Fuck ‘em.

J: On that same note, did you get a lot of criticism for playing with Sheer Terror? Did a lot of people--
P: This? This thing? It’s not really a reunion, it’s me and a whole new band. And, yeah, people can say what they want. “It doesn’t have Neuman and Chickie on it.” So? [J: Did a lot of people say that to you?] A lot of people were like, all that stupid internet crap. You know what? No. It’s my band. I’ve been the only constant in this band for 25 years. Since it started. Maybe we weren’t together all that 25 years, but since it started, it’s been over 25 years now. And Neuman and Chickie turned their back on it, they don’t want to do it no more. Without me getting personal about what’s going on between me and them, which—nothing, ‘cause I don’t talk to them and they don’t talk to me, so fuck ‘em, but they don’t want it anymore. They do what they have to do, and I will never sleight them as--or discredit them for their contribution, to the band and to my life. But they don’t want it no more. So it’s like, I buried it back then--six years ago, we did that thing. I buried it and I walked away. But it was always there. You can’t walk away from this shit, it’s almost like the fucking mafia. You can try. It don’t happen. This is a lifestyle, this is something I chose a long fucking time ago, and I can’t walk away. That’s why when I hear people say, “I used to be a punk rocker…” or “I used to be a skinhead…” No. You never were. You don’t ever “used to be,” it’s there. You don’t have to be walking around in boots and braces 24/7 or have your hair in a fucking mohawk, but it’s there. You can’t just walk away if it means something to you like it means to me. And so it’s like, you know, Neuman and Chickie? They don’t want it, they walked away? Fuck ‘em. I got a bunch of guys now who want to do this, who are excited and happy to do this. It’s not just a business transaction. Their enthusiasm is—I’m feeding off of it, it’s filling me. I’m like, you know, fuck! I can do this! And I can do it on my terms for once, without fucking Neuman and Chickie fucking bitching and whining about shit. I mean—I’m not even talking shit about them. There’s so much stuff that people don’t know about those guys that came up during the funeral and the wake shows that I could expound on, which I’d rather not. But they—people—yeah, I’m nuts. I know that. I got problems, I’m not saying, by no means—I’m not a sociopath, but I’m crazy. But those guys can be straight up dicks. And that’s one thing I try not to do. I mean, I can if I want to, and I can be a really fucking good one, but I’d rather not. I’d rather everything be fair, give everything its chance and give everything its shot, but if I don’t like it, you’re gonna know. I’m not gonna hide it. I’m gonna say fuck you, or this stinks. A lot of people thinks that’s negative, and it’s like, how is that being negative? I’m just being honest. [J: It would almost be more negative to—] To hide it? Exactly! I can’t. I don’t want to. It’d be safe to do, but it wouldn’t be honest. I’m just going to tell you, go to hell or whatever. I don’t know how honesty can be negative.

J: Talking about the new guys that you have now... You briefly talked about them onstage, but how did they come together? How did you find them? Did you know them before?
P: Well, I knew, yeah, two of the guys. Well, I knew Jay, Jay Carter, the bass player, I knew—I’ve known him since he was like 16 years old, he’s from Staten Island, I’ve known him since he was a 16 year old skinhead kid and whatnot. He was just always a good kid, good guy, and great bass player. And originally, when I was gonna do this, ‘cause we were just doing the Japan thing, there was just gonna be that, I’d called up Gary from Kill Your Idols—they would play with Sheer Terror, briefly, and asked him if him and Paul from Kill Your Idols, if they were interested in doing it. And they were all excited. “Yes! Definitely! Ahhhhhh!” And then they’re like, “We can’t!” Because they’re doing that Black Anvil thing, they’re very busy. So I was like alright, whatever. So then I was calling up—I was trying to think of people I could play with to do this thing, and then Gary was like, “Talk to Mike DeLorenzo. Either bass or guitar, this guy can do it.” So I contacted him, and he was like, “Sure. No problem. Love to. Hell yeah.” He was very excited about it. He was the one that actually brought up Jay Carter, because—I didn’t realize that they went to school together, that Mike—I didn’t know he was from Staten Island originally. I thought he was from Long Island, because he was living out there, and he played with Kill Your Idols at one point in time. Then I found out, no, he’s from Staten Island, small world. So I probably did see him at one point in time back then. So yeah, then that was perfect, I was like, Jay, hell yeah. And then the drummer, Anthony, works for Mike at the—the guitar thing, amp thing, whatever it is, music thing. [J laughs] And he works for him. He’s a young kid, just turned 22, great kid. I just found out last night that he had just learned—made himself learn how to do double bass to do this. I didn’t know that! Jay told me last night, I was like, what?! He never played double kick before, he taught himself to do it. I was like, fuckin’, god bless him! [J: Kudos!] Yeah! [P and J laugh] So yeah, Jay I knew since he was 16, Mike I knew peripherally, and the kid I just met a little over a month ago.

J: So how did it all come about? How did it all get started in motion? Was it when Joe [Hardcore] asked you [to play This Is Hardcore]? Or... Was the Japan thing there first?
P: Japan thing was there first.
J: Ok. I know you’ve said before that you’ve always wanted to go to Japan, but you never got to.
P: Yeah, I never got a chance to go there, so I was like ok, I’ll do that, I’ll go to Japan, and that was gonna be it. And then Joe contacted me about the This Is Hardcore thing, and at first I was like, “I don’t know. Hmm. I don’t know...” And he was like, “Well, think about it,” and I was like, ok. I thought about it. And I was thinking... You know, it would be... rather than our first show being in like Tokyo or whatever, I was like, let’s do one here, in America. Philly, New York, whatever. Yeah, that’d be a better idea. It would be a great warm-up show. And Joe’s extremely generous, he totally took care of us, he’s a great guy, I’ve got nothing but praises for him. It just worked out. And I told the guys I want to do this This Is Hardcore thing, and they were like, “Fuck yeah!” They were excited. And then I called Joe back, and I was like “Uhh... How about the This Is Hardcore thing?” He was like, [gasp]! He was all excited, then he started talking a million miles an hour. [P and J laugh] It was one of the smartest decisions I ever made, definitely. Because the show itself was fucking great, it was like, beyond our expectations.
J: Yeah, I was gonna ask you how the show was in comparison to your expectations.
P: I mean, we knew it was gonna be good, but... it was just, it just—the feel of it and everything was just so fucking perfect. It just felt— [J: It really felt on.] Yeah! It felt like I had been playing with those guys forever. I had three guys backing me up who wanted to be there. And were happy to be there, were ecstatic to be there playing these songs, rather than like, “Oh, it’s another gig.” And it fucking felt great. It just really, really fucking made me very happy. Very happy.

J: That’s great. Sheer Terror’s my favorite band of course, and part of me was wondering, if—since I’m younger and didn’t get to see them before, I have a sort of preserved view of Sheer Terror, and I was worried, “If it doesn’t fit my perfect view, will everything shatter and fall apart? Will anything ever live up to my beautiful picture?” [P laughs] But I mean, it was just—I agree, it really felt very on. It didn’t feel forced.
P: Not at all. That’s like, when I first told Joe no, ‘cause I was like, I don’t want to—I don’t really know what I wanted to do with Sheer Terror and everything. I started practicing with these guys, and I was thinking, and I threw it at them, I was like, “Why don’t you guys try writing a song?” And they were like, “Alright!” And Jay was like, “Well, I kinda like, had stuff I was working on anyway...” [P and J laugh] So, you know, we’re gonna give it a shot. If we like what we’re writing, and it seems to be clicking, then we’ll work on it. And if it goes well, there’s gonna be a new Sheer Terror record.

J: Do you think it’s going to be the same--same direction? Like same kind of Sheer Terror sound?
P: It’s gonna sound like us, because I’m in it. I can’t help that. It’s gonna sound like us, but I’m gonna see what these guys wanna bring to the table. I mean, we’re not gonna... It’s hard to say, ‘cause I never, like, with Sheer Terror, I never thought of, “Ok, we have to write this type of a song, or that type of a song...” That was just the stuff that happened, and it sounded good. So that’s what I’m looking for with this. It’s gonna be hard, it’s gonna be heavy, but there’s gonna be melody there, there’s gonna be a lot more, like a punk/oi influence, but not... overt. I’m not gonna be singing, “Oi! Oi! Oi!” But a lot more of that influence, as in feel. But it’s gonna be hardcore, you know, the way they used to be. Fucking skinheads playing fucking hardcore.

J: That’s another question I just remembered when you said “the way it used to be.” What do you think about hardcore then versus now? You were saying then when you started, it was very open, all different kinds of people. Now, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that it’s probably, you would agree that it’s not necessarily that same way now.
P: It’s not. I mean, it is in a way. It’s a lot easier for the kids now to come and go, because there’s not really a commitment to be made. Because it’s out there and it’s in the open because of the internet and certain things, it’s not like—it’s not hidden. It’s not a secret anymore. [J: Not as underground.] Exactly. And it’s very easy for these kids to come and go as they please. They don’t have the, like—wow, you know, I’m in this. No. They can be there one day, and be at a fucking rave the next, or whatever. [J: So you think it’s not the same sense of community that it was before?] In certain—in certain circles, maybe. In certain—with certain bands, perhaps. But as a whole? No. With certain people—you could almost tell who’s there in a way—who’s there to toe the line, and who’s there just along for the ride. You can almost tell with the way it is now. And, also, not for nothing, most of these bands are just straight up fucking metal bands. There’s no punk element to it. I understand that, ok, these kids didn’t grow up punk. Maybe they don’t like punk. Ok, that’s fine. But don’t call it hardcore. Call it baggy pants metal, or whatever. I’m not expecting everybody to feel the way that I do, or to be into punk, and stuff like that, but that’s—it was hardcore punk. Once it separated, that’s when it started getting like—no, no, no. It’s just annoying. Hardcore now? Hardcore came from outta punk, and it still had that attitude and certain sound to it. A lot of these bands are just straight up heavy metal, and it’s like... whatever. If you like that, that’s great, good for you, god bless. But... call a spade a spade.

J: Going forward, where would you like to play?
P: Well, Japan’s coming up. That’s just gonna be fun. [J: People in Japan are so happy and enthusiastic about hardcore still.] They’re crazy. So yeah, now that’s gonna be good. Um... We never played in England. We were supposed to, and then it fell apart. We had this band out with us, Beowulf, and they wound up costing us too much money, so we pulled out, and I think they went anyway, I’m not sure. But we pulled out, because we were, like, paying for their way and it was costing us too much money. So we pulled this bullshit, we said Pat hurt his arm. He “slipped and fell.” Every day, it was a different arm. [P and J laugh] He couldn’t keep it straight. So no, we never played England, I’d like to fly and do that. Ireland would be neat. See, everybody thinks I’m Irish, and I’m not. [J laughs] And Russia, I guess. There’s places I haven’t been. South America, I guess to an extent I would like to go and see everything, but I—there’s always, fucking, some sort of revolution going on down there. I don’t wanna wind up getting killed or something, kidnapped. Bad video of me reading from a script. [J: Have hardcore kids send in donations to save you and get you back.] Yeah, next thing you know, they’re chopping my head off.
J: What about within the United States? Is there anywhere that you wanna play? I know that, obviously, you announced that you’re gonna be playing New York in November.
P: Yeah. Um... I don’t know, we played—we didn’t play every place, but I’ve been around doing it all over. If people want to fly us out to like... California, I guess, we could go out and do that if they want to fly us out there, that’d be cool. But not for awhile, not until maybe like March or April. So we’ll spread it out.

J: Do you want it to be something that’s a big part of your life that you’re doing often, or just kind of see what it turns into?
P: Well, right now, it’s—I mean, it is a big part of my life, but I just want to see what it turns into and where we’re gonna take it. I want every show to be like a special occasion type of thing. I don’t want to tour and—like we put out our new album, boom. I don’t wanna be out there doing the “circuit,” and hitting the “markets” with a bunch of other fucking bands, because I got nothing to prove. I’ve been there. I did it. I am who I am. You like me, or you don’t. New kids like it? Great! If they don’t? …Great! I don’t care. I want every show to be a special thing, like if we play out, maybe we’ll do a week here, like a week in Europe or something, or the States, the East Coast. Then maybe a couple months later we’ll go out west. A special thing. I don’t wanna be like, people are gonna be like, “Oh, I’m gonna see them in six months.” I want them to go, “Wow, they haven’t been here in like, over a year.” So, that way, we don’t get tired of it, people don’t get tired of seeing us, and not for nothing, I can ask for good money. ‘Cause it’s a special thing. That’s why I was saying, I want to be the Cocksparrer of hardcore. It’d be fucking perfect, I’d be very happy doing that. Very happy. What am I gonna do, tour around in a fucking van? Playing with some band’s name I can’t fucking pronounce? Cuz after all that, people will get tired of you.

J: What kind of bands do you want to play with?
P: I don’t know. I guess, you know, I like to mix it up. Of course you’re gonna have hardcore bands on it. But put, like, a punk band on, something good. With the New York show, right now, we’re still putting it together, and I put the Templars on. I like them, and I want to mix it up. Shows that I used to go see. And I’m just trying to think of some other bands to put on. I don’t want to put “beatdown” bands on it, because that—it gives me a headache. One of the guys from Vision was there tonight, so I was talking to him, I was like, maybe... He was like, “Well, let me talk to the guys, see what they’re doing.” So I was thinking maybe that would be neat, to have them on the bill, too. We’ll see.

J: It seems like you’re in a good place right now. Things are pretty exciting, you’re pretty open to whatever happens.
P: Yeah! It’s—I’m finally doing this fucking thing on my terms.
J: You feel like this is the first time you’re really able to do that?
P: Yeah! I don’t have to worry, because I’ve got guys in the band that are happy to be there, excited to be there, and I don’t have them bitching and pissing and moaning, or going behind my back and saying shit or doing things because they think it was—like Neuman and Chickie would do sometimes. I didn’t appreciate it. Or give me a fucking attitude. No, these are my terms, but I treat everybody fairly. That’s one thing. I’m a socialist—for the most part. I’m not a... fucking... [J: Card-carrying...] No. Exactly. But for me, it’s an honest wage for an honest job. We got paid very handsomely on Friday.

J: What are you going to do with all of your Sheer Terror riches now?
P: Well, that’s just it. I split everything up four ways. [J: Really? Wow.] They earned it! They played great! What, am I gonna take it all and give them pittance? That’s not fair. They worked for it, they earned it. They’re in the fucking band.
J: But I think a lot of people would assume that the thought would be, it’s your band...
P: I know! Exactly. And I guess I could do that, and these guys probably wouldn’t have a problem with it, but I would. No! You’re in my fucking band, you get treated the same fucking way that I do. You get paid the same amount that I do. ‘Cause that’s fair. Honest wage for an honest fucking job. I’m not no better than nobody in my fucking band. I want everybody to be fucking happy and want to be happy to be there. And doing that is by treating them as an equal. So... That was not even a thought in my head. I told them, everybody gets—fair. Gets split four ways. And we’ll pay bills four ways! [J laughs] If we ever have any. No, it’s the only way to do it, as far as I’m concerned.

J: That’s great. Last thing I want to ask about... You said that you’re in a movie that’s coming out next year. Is that something you wanna do more, if you can?
P: Yeah! I wanna do more acting. [J: Yeah? How was this experience? It was good?] It was fucking cool. Yeah. I worked three days. My buddy Dito [Montiel], he—I know him from when we were kids, through the hardcore scene, he was in a band called Major Conflict from New York. This is his third movie, his first one he did was A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, and then he did a movie called Fighting. Now, this one, Son of No One. I just got it by joking around with him on the stupid Facebook thing. He was looking for a little girl to play a role, and I sent him a message, I was like, “Me + your movie = asses in seats.” So he wrote me back and he was like, “Hell yeah! You wanna be a cop?” I’m like, “Sure!” He goes, “Yeah, send me what you got! Send me a picture or something you’ve done.” I sent it in and he was like, “You’re in!” I read for one role, which I didn’t get, but then he’s like, “No, you’re not gonna be that, you’re gonna be this guy.” And I only have one line, but I’m in six scenes. I’m definitely gonna be in three. Three of ‘em are definite things that I’m in. It was fucking cool! Working with Ray Liotta. [J: What was he like?] He was cool, he’s crazy, but he’s cool. He likes his iced coffee. [P and J laugh] But no, he was cool. By the second day, he was like, “Paulie!” Busting my balls and shit. I was like, this is alright! Yeah, but it was cool, I liked the process, I like how things are made, and different angles and all of that. It got a little tedious, but I liked it. You get paid to play make believe. It’s fucking cool!
J: This was your first foray into acting, wasn’t it?
P: No, I did two really low budget independent films. One called The Soft Hustle that my buddy Ethan made. I played a bouncer, go figure. [J: Method acting.] Exactly. Thank god for all those years of training. [J: How prophetic!] And then I was in, for a minute, I’m in the Stigma movie. I play a bartender in that one. I’m in that for like two minutes. But this is my first—fucking Al Pacino is in this thing, fucking Ray Liotta, Tracy Morgan in a serious role, Channing Tatum, um, Tom Cruise’s wife... [J: Nicole Kidman. Er, uh, the new one... Katie Holmes.] Katie Holmes! Yeah. I forget some other people’s names. But it’s gonna be a major thing! And it’s fucking cool! But I wanna do more, I’m trying to get a hold of this fucking casting agent in New York, Dito got me a hold of her, but her fucking number keeps—it’s not on, so do I go there? I wanna do more.
J: So, if you could be doing anything a few years from now, would you want to be pretty heavily involved in that?
P: If it was something I liked, if the roles were cool, yeah. It’d be fucking great. I’d enjoy that. If I can make a living doing anything involved in any of the arts, it’d be like a dream come true for me. It’s the only thing I’ve stuck with. I’ve worked every job under the sun. If I gotta dig a ditch, I’ll dig a ditch, I got no problem with it. I don’t wanna, but I’ll do it. Doing something in the arts, whether it be music, writing, or acting, if I can work it out to where that’s how I’m making my living, that’d be fucking great. I’d be extremely grateful for that. Because I want to get a house. I want a garden. I want to plant vegetables. Have a tree! [P laughs] I want to have vegetables and a tree.

J: Do you want to stay in New York?
P: I’d love to. I’ve tried to live in other places. That never works out. I’m a New Yorker. It’s my home. It’s everybody else who has to leave. All the transients, and all the “New Yorkers.” I don’t enunciate my R’s—not out of choice; it’s how I talk. We’ll see. It’s a dream, it’s a goal. I didn’t think I was gonna fucking do this Sheer Terror thing again, so who’s to say? That’d be alright by me.
J: That’s great, though. It seems like things are on the upswing right now.
P: Yeah. Exactly. And that’s why I don’t want to push it. [J: It seems like you’re being smart with it, though.] For once in my life! I don’t wanna push it, I don’t wanna try my luck and be like, oh we’re back, we’re touring all over the place. [J: People would get tired of it.] Exactly! It’s over. Then they’re not excited.
J: I can think of so many bands that are good bands, but they’ve come back, and they play every weekend now, and who cares anymore?
P: Exactly, exactly. It’s not exciting. It’s like, ok, you’re back, but—especially if they’re not creating. Then it’s like... ugh. But yeah. So far, so good. I don’t wanna curse it, I don’t wanna jinx myself. I do that enough as it is. I want it to keep going the way that it’s going.